Is disobeying parents haram?

Haram Family & relations Quran · 2 Hadith · 1

Short answer

Yes. Allah commands kindness to parents and forbids even saying “uff” to them (17:23). The Prophet ﷺ listed disobedience to parents among the greatest sins.

Evidence

Quran

۞ وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّۢ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًۭا كَرِيمًۭا ﴿٢٣﴾

Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.

وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍۢ وَفِصَٰلُهُۥ فِى عَامَيْنِ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ ﴿١٤﴾

And We have enjoined upon man concerning his partners - His mother beareth him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years - Give thanks unto Me and unto thy parents. Unto Me is the journeying.

Hadith

1 Sahih al-Bukhari 5976

Narrated Abu Bakra:Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said thrice, "Shall I not inform you of the biggest of the great sins?" We said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)" He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah: to be undutiful to one's parents." The Prophet (ﷺ) sat up after he had been reclining and added, "And I warn you against giving forged statement and a false witness; I warn you against giving a forged statement and a false witness." The Prophet kept on saying that warning till we thought that he would not stop

Arabic text (with chain of narrators)

حَدَّثَنِي إِسْحَاقُ، حَدَّثَنَا خَالِدٌ الْوَاسِطِيُّ، عَنِ الْجُرَيْرِيِّ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي بَكْرَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ أَلاَ أُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِأَكْبَرِ الْكَبَائِرِ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْنَا بَلَى يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ الإِشْرَاكُ بِاللَّهِ، وَعُقُوقُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ ‏"‏‏.‏ وَكَانَ مُتَّكِئًا فَجَلَسَ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ أَلاَ وَقَوْلُ الزُّورِ وَشَهَادَةُ الزُّورِ، أَلاَ وَقَوْلُ الزُّورِ وَشَهَادَةُ الزُّورِ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَمَا زَالَ يَقُولُهَا حَتَّى قُلْتُ لاَ يَسْكُتُ‏.‏

Read it in the hadith library

This is general information, not a fatwa. For your own situation, ask a qualified scholar.